Phoenix from the Flames
Image: Anita Milas
By Isobel Irvine
The striking image of a phoenix rising from the ashes has been prevalent this week in various forms, often as a metaphor for participants overcoming numerous odds to turn their lives around.
In the case of the Norwegian goalkeeper, Sebastian Hedquist, however, it's been a material image - a huge detailed inking which stretches shoulder to shoulder.
"This is my most recent tattoo,” he laughs, while pointing out smaller designs of the earth, sky, ether and water across his arms.
And it’s an image which perfectly represents the journey Sebastian has taken from Norway to represent his country on the global stage this week.
Rewind to a five-year-old football-mad dynamo living happily with his family in Trondheim.
“I was inspired to be a goalkeeper because of Peter Schmeichel,” he begins, “when I saw that penalty save [Euro 1992 semi final Denmark v Holland’s Marco van Basten] where he throws himself all the way to the right and holds the ball.
“I thought, ‘that’s the most important job on the field and I want to be that player. So I was always goalie, from playing seven-aside as a kid until I was a teenager.
“I’m stretchy and don’t have a problem flinging myself around! I’ve always been unafraid and like psyching out the opposition - when I was growing up I rarely let in a goal when it was one-on-one!”
Any ideas of getting a big break in the soccer world were quashed, however, by a break of a completely different kind when Sebastian was 15. A devastating leg break while skateboarding left him with a plate, pins and one limb forever shorter than the other.
It also meant two weeks in hospital hooked up to IV morphine which, in turn, got Sebastian hooked on opiates.
“By the time I was 18, I'd moved out of my family home and in with my 16-year-old girlfriend and her family,” he continues, “then when we broke up, everything really went downhill.
“I moved into a ‘kommune’ [an unofficial apartment complex for drug users] where they deliver drugs, needles and everything you need to be an addict - not a good way to help anyone.”
Sebastian was 21 when he began injecting heroin and, he says ruefully, "just lost all grip of reality.
“We were sitting in the middle of the street, in my town in Norway, making our stuff and shooting up, with families, babies walking by. For me to look back on that is really hard because that’s not who I am as a person.
“I’m very empathetic and emotionally connected to our earth, to people, he continues, “so when I began to lose control with my life, lose friends, because of the situation I had put myself in…”
He takes a long breath and looks into the distance as the memories resurface, then refocusses on the teams, laughter and positive vibes going on around him and continues.
Image: Anita Milas
“I was sectioned in mental hospitals many times - the longest for seven months. My best friend in Oslo, who was like my father in the drug community, died suddenly when I was 22 - and I was living on the streets during the summer months because I was sick and tired of being locked inside with the other drug addicts.
“So, for me, it took around eight years to realise ‘oh, I’ve just turned 29 and I need to do something with my life.
“I was still in contact with my family and I was watching my mum degenerating, quitting her job, being emotionally blocked just because of what I was doing with my life.
“I was slowly killing her.”
With life spiralling downwards and no obvious help forthcoming, how on earth did he get his life back?
“I’m a Taurus, I’m stubborn,” he states with a grin. “When I put my mind to something I will do it.”
Removing himself from the cycle he admitted himself to a rehab facility and began the journey home.
“The thing people don’t understand with rehab is that they imagine they’re going to be rehabilitated and that’s not the case.
“It took me four months to understand that it’s my responsibility to start fixing myself, to start putting myself in a better light.”
October 24th 2022 is a date emblazoned in Sebastian’s mind - if not yet joining his family of tattoos - as the day he was discharged from the rehab facility.
“I stayed in Lillehammer for a year and only had one occasion where my resolve slipped. I went to a wedding party with a friend and everything went to hell!
“I’d been eight months sober but that was when I understood I was done with this life,” he recalls, “that my old life did nothing for me any more, that it was a shallow thing to chase.
“When you understand what sobriety can bring you - it’s like being in a coma for ten years then suddenly realising I can be a healthy human, that I have every possibility, as long as I take care of myself.”
That self care included improving his physique - “People who have been doing drugs for a long time, their bodies degenerate," - continuing his recovery in Trondheim and finding an apartment.
It was also in the city that he discovered street football and joined in training.
“After playing with them for a coupe of months, the coach asked me if I wanted to be part of the national team and travel to Seoul - it was like a new spark in my life.
“I was originally the reserve goalie but the first choice keeper wasn’t a fan of long flights so I became part of this team.”
The football will definitely continue on return to Norway, where Sebastian also plays for a local team now, and a new career also beckons.
“I’ve always enjoyed working with children, being active and having fun, so I’ve just started studying at university to be a kindergarten teacher, with specialisation in nature and outdoors” he announces.
“It’s a three-year course and I still have to do my school work when I return at night to our accommodation after playing matches this week!”
But Sebastian is not the only one in the family deep in studies.
“My mother is currently studying her for her second Masters degree, in management power and meaning,” he says proudly.
“She is well again, now that I am recovering.”
So a few educational titles may be joining the tattoos of musical notes - “My dad is a great singer and guitarist,” - and that majestic mythical beast.
“The phoenix is rising from the ashes, just as I am. I feel I have every possibility in the world right now.”
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Words: Isobel Irvine
Images: Anita Milas